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    Quiet strength： Experts say it is better to offer unobtrusive help behind the scenes， much Samantha Cameron appears to do for David.

    You might think a gentle nudgefrom a loving partner would help you stick to your plan to redecorate the house or get in shape. But a supportive other half with the best intentions can actually demotivateus， according to a study.

    Thinking about the support a significant other offers in pursuing goals can undermine the motivation to work towards those goals， scientists claim. It can also increase procrastinationbefore getting down to work.

    This phenomenon even has a name - 'self-regulatory outsourcing' - which is the unconscious reliance on someone else to move your goals forward， coupled by a relaxation of your own effort. It's not solely a phenomenon between partners， but happens with friends and family too.

    The study's authors， scientists Gráinne Fitzsimons of Duke University and Eli Finkel of Northwestern University， said： 'If you look just at one goal in isolation - as the study does - there can be a negative effect.

    'But relying on another person also lets you spread your energy across many goals， which can be effective if your partner is helpful.' The authors conducted three online experiments with participants recruited from a data-collection service.

    In the first， of 52 women， some were asked to focus on a way their partners helped them reach health and fitness goals； the control groupinstead entertained thoughts of their partners helping them with career goals.

    When asked how diligently they intended to work toward getting fitter and healthier in the coming week， the first group planned to put in less effort than the second.

    Facing an academic goal， people also unconsciously outsourced their exertion to helpful partners. In the second experiment， 74 male and female students were given a means of procrastination - an engagingpuzzle - before completing an academic achievement task that would help them improve their performance at university.

    Those who had mused about how their partner helps them with academic achievement procrastinated longer， leaving themselves less time to work productively on the academic task， than did control group participants.

    'The first experiment was about intention. The second captures behaviour，' said Professor Fitzsimons.

    如果你計劃重新裝修房子或者健身的話，你可能認(rèn)為愛侶的貼心支持能讓你更堅定地完成自己的計劃。但是一項調(diào)查顯示，另一半好意的支持反而會讓我們失去堅持的動力。

    科學(xué)家稱，在實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)的過程中，如果你一直想著你的摯愛的支持，反而會讓你失去追逐目標(biāo)的動力。而且這種支持也會讓你變得拖拖拉拉，遲遲不愿意開始行動。

    這種現(xiàn)象甚至還有一個名字：自律外包，意思就是說人們潛意識中會依賴別人來幫助自己達(dá)到目標(biāo)，而同時自己會放松努力。這種現(xiàn)象不僅僅存在于情侶之間，也存在于家人和朋友之間。

    該研究的作者、杜克大學(xué)科學(xué)家哥勞亞 菲茨西蒙斯和西北大學(xué)科學(xué)家伊萊 芬克爾說：“在研究中我們只是單獨(dú)研究一個目標(biāo)的實(shí)現(xiàn)情況，結(jié)果顯示（伴侶的支持）確實(shí)是有負(fù)面影響。”

    他說：“但是依賴另外一個人能讓你將精力放在很多目標(biāo)上，而且如果你的另一半能幫得上忙的話，將能有效地實(shí)現(xiàn)多個目標(biāo)。”該研究的作者在網(wǎng)上進(jìn)行了三次實(shí)驗，參與者是從一個數(shù)據(jù)收集機(jī)構(gòu)中招來的。

    第一個實(shí)驗的實(shí)驗對象是52位女性，研究人員要求其中一組人集中精力，想想她們的伴侶幫她們達(dá)到健身目標(biāo)的一個方法，同時研究人員要求另一組人想想伴侶幫她們達(dá)到職業(yè)目標(biāo)的幾種途徑，以作為對照。

    隨后，研究人員問她們在接下來的一周中打算花多大力氣來實(shí)現(xiàn)更苗條更健康的目標(biāo)，結(jié)果顯示第一組人打算付出的努力要少于第二組人。

    在面對學(xué)業(yè)目標(biāo)時，人們也會潛意識地將她們的努力“外包”給能幫助她們的伴侶。在第二個實(shí)驗中，74位參與的男女大學(xué)生需要完成一項有助于提高成績的學(xué)業(yè)任務(wù)，但是在他們完成之前，研究人員給了他們一個有意思的智力游戲，來拖延他們完成任務(wù)的進(jìn)程。

    那些想著伴侶可以如何幫自己完成學(xué)業(yè)任務(wù)的人拖得更久，因此他們用于完成學(xué)業(yè)任務(wù)的有效時間要比對照組的人短。

    菲茨西蒙斯教授說：“第一個實(shí)驗研究了（這種支持）對人們的意識的影響，而第二個則研究了對于行為的影響。”

    Vocabulary：

    nudge： to push somebody/something gently or gradually in a particular direction （朝某方向）輕推，漸漸推動。這里指的是支持、幫助。

    demotivate： make （someone） less eager to work or study（使失去動力；使變得消極）

    procrastination： the action of delaying or postponing something（拖延；耽擱）

    outsource： obtain goods or services from an outside supplier（外包；交外辦理）

    control group： 對照組

    engaging： interesting or pleasant in a way that attracts your attention（有趣的；令人愉快的）